A True Gift For Our Children – Our PresencePosted: August 16, 2013 | |
I am sure that every person reading this post loves their children. But if we asked our children if they truly feel loved by us, what would they say? There is a decent chance some would say, “Sure she (he) loves me but ….” and then add some qualifier that indicates they are not fully satisfied. Now we can get our backs up and start listing all the things that we do, buy, and arrange for our children every day to show our love . . . or we can stop, take a step back and ask, “Can we be more caring, present and loving?”
The truth is that our children may not feel fully satisfied with our love because we are not totally present for them. We may feel that we do everything for our children but, in truth, our minds can be elsewhere at times. Maybe we are regretting the past or worried about the future or just consumed with everything that needs to get done today. Yes, we are there physically, but our minds can be everywhere else. If our minds are not present, our children might not always feel the depth of our love. They might not feel understood and our love may not be filling them with joy.
The good news is that there is an easy way to begin to be more present for our children. We can become more mindful of the present by following our breath for a few minutes several times each day. Before you judge this and think I am not going to do this it is silly, please give it a try.
When your child is asking you a question and you have things to get done or you are distracted by a problem or thought, just stop for a moment. Breathe in and think “I am breathing in” and breathe out and think “I am breathing out.” Breath in and think “I am here in this moment” and breath out and think “there is only this moment.” Your mind will return to your body and you will really see your child in front of you and truly comprehend what they need in that moment. You might even want to look in their eyes and tell them “I am here for you” and you will see their faces light up.
It is with our presence that we can give our children more understanding. When we are there to be attentive and look deeply into who our children are and what they have to say, we give our children joyful love and often alleviate some of their emotional pain.
With your presence you can impart the strength needed for your children to go out into the world and pursue their dreams. Why? Because your children will feel deeply loved – by you.